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There was a lot of talk today about the media’s failed coverage [read: non-coverage] of the 234 Nigerian girls, thus came the #234WhiteGirls hashtag.

No, none of us wants any white girls to go missing. We just want these Nigerian girls to get the same amount of coverage that white girls get (or would get), because EVERY girl matters.



Anonymous asked:

How do you deal with normal levels of disappointment making it hard for you to set or maintain boundaries? I don't mean genuinely abusive stuff like being screamed at or badgered until you give in to what someone else wants. I mean stuff like someone having disappointed body language or seeming less happy than they did before you said no to something they wanted. I do think having ppl disappointed in you sometimes is normal but I don't know how to cope with it. Any advice?


This is something I still struggle with, but basically what it comes down to is letting go of the idea that you have to (or can) make everything okay.

Sometimes there are situations where two people’s wants or needs are just incompatible.  Their position is “I will be happy if you do X,” your position is “I will be unhappy if I do X,” and neither of you is being manipulative or dishonest or anything.  You just can’t create a situation where both of you are happy.

And that’s okay.  It doesn’t mean you should have made yourself unhappy for their sake, because no, your happiness matters too.  Considering your own wants and needs isn’t selfish or mean.  It’s exactly the same as what they were doing when they asked you for X.

Also, and even more importantly: good people wouldn’t want you to make yourself unhappy on their behalf.  Good people may look disappointed because they’re sad that there isn’t a “we both like X! yay!” scenario, but that’s being disappointed with a fact of life, not with you, because they’re not sad that you didn’t force yourself to X.



no critical thinking whatsoever went into making this post and I’m secondhand embarrassed

like I’m just floored people are reblogging this post like it doesn’t take more than common sense to understand that this post is a classic example of the age old tactic of the oppressor exaggerating the oppressed’s responses to said oppression and taking them to an extreme to sandbag their emotions and invalidate their feelings and credibility and you’re all feeding into the bullshit because you can’t think for yourselves and you wonder why people are increasingly irritated that people don’t care about their feelings or why straight cis people say “you can’t fight hate with hate” all the while completely turning a blind eye to the fact that this is EXACTLY how they want you to feel, like you’re overreacting and taking things too far so you second guess yourself, remain quiet meek little cowards who are complicit in your own oppression so you no longer have the strength or desire to fight back

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