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Y’know people say shit about social media along the lines of ‘OMG no one cares what anyone had for breakfast’ and like.

I do? I care. I’m pretty sure a lot of people care. I want to hear that the people I care about are having delicious breakfasts or saw something odd at work or flirted with a cute barista. Or just any little thoughts they have that they feel are worth sharing.

I’ve always kind of assumed that’s how you’re supposed to feel about your friends.

Shutting up won’t get you heard




Tone is important. When you say things the right way, it can increase the number of people who are willing to listen to you. 

But that only goes so far. No matter how good you are at framing things, some things that need to be said will upset people who feel entitled to be comfortable. And, when you upset people who feel entitled to comfort, they will lash out at you. This is not your fault; it is theirs. Tone has its limits.

Also, getting tone right is really hard. No one starts out good at tone; it’s a very difficult skill that you can only learn with practice. And the only way to get practice is to spend a lot of time talking to people about controversial things. Which means that, in order to get good at tone, you’re going to have to spend a lot of time talking about these things while you’re still bad at tone. 

People who mean well and genuinely want you to be heard understand this, and will encourage you to keep speaking up and keep working on your skills at speaking up effectively. People who want you to shut up about the things you’re talking about will try to make you feel horrible about your tone and convince you that your tone means you have no right to say anything.

Sometimes, when people say that you should be more careful about tone so that you can be heard, what they really mean is “I don’t want to hear that, shut up and say something else I’m willing to listen to”.

Don’t believe those people, and don’t shut up. The most important thing is to keep talking. If you are bad at tone, some people will refuse to hear you. If you are good at tone, some people will still refuse to hear you. If you say nothing for fear of getting the tone wrong, no one will hear you.

Shutting up won’t get you heard. Speaking up might.

fuzzyfault said:

I am very bad at tone.  I nearly lost my job because of not using the appropriate tone with both staff and students.  I am sure some people don’t like me - and I think this is a major cause of my social anxiety - because of the tone I use for even non-controversial things.  But I have a lot of feelings about controversial things that I avoid communicating because I know the tone I tend to use will upset people/make them feel uncomfortable.  So, this is a really important skill that I need to learn, else start wearing a badge that says ‘the tone I use probably won’t be appropriate but please forgive it and listen to me anyway’.

realsocialskills said:

If you’re having trouble with tone in professional contexts, I’d suggest reading through the Ask A Manager blog. She has a lot of really helpful posts on how to communicate in professional settings, including how to give and receive effective feedback.



You asked for it, you got it! Starting this Monday (4/14/14), Medievalpoc will be featuring Contemporary Art and Artists of color influenced by European Art History. Medieval, Renaissance, Baroque, Rococo, Mannerist, Classical, Ancient, Fantasy, Early Modern, you name it, it’ll be here! Everything from oil on canvas to performance art.

Also featured will be topical essays exploring our ideas about anachronisms, cultural exchange and appropriation, the use of particular palettes to invoke associations with historical works, Fantasy and Fan Art, character design, RPGs, Art and Identity, and the policing of self-expression in popular culture.

Follow. Ask. Submit.

Artists featured in this post*: Yin Xin, Leo and Diane Dillon, Terrance Houle, charcoalfeather, Toyin Odutola, Kehinde Wiley, Jamea Richmond-Edwards, hauntedmomsanon, Ikenaga Yasenuri, and S. Ross Browne.

*If you see your art here and would like it removed for any reason, message me and I will remove it ASAP.

It depends on what is being offered as ‘awareness’. There is a very real reason why autistic people do NOT want to be part of the awareness being offered. The fear being stirred up in the media over epidemics, and cures and shit. To ask for unification with this kind of awareness is to ask autistic people to sell themselves short, to align with the popular concept being peddled as awareness is not ok. If the awareness promoted acceptance, well and good! But it doesn’t promote this. It promotes myths and ignorance. It promotes non autistic people speaking for autistic people and telling the world what they feel they should hear. The voices of autistic people are being used in many forms, and it’s about time the world started listening to what WE are saying, rather than what charities and government organisations are saying we want. Parents of autistic children who are not autistic themselves also need to listen to autistic voices here. It’s too important not to.
Linda West (via autisticfandomthings)

(Source: autisticadvocacy)

she was special and unique because unlike other girls she read a book and drank a tea and didnt talk about a clothes

young adult authors everywhere 


#she was also hetero and she liked to look at the stars at night

#And she was an old soul who raised herself, also her eyes were deep pools

#And she didn’t wear makeup but it was okay because she had flawless skin anyway

(via splitterherzen)

(Source: klefable)

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